Wednesday, April 3, 2013

G'Day Mate Insights

I am proud to announce that my brother Micah has been called to serve in the Sydney, Australia mission and will be speaking Cantonese! When we were younger I would ask him where he wanted to go and he used to say Australia and I would tell him to bring me back a Koala Bear so it is really cool that he is going there! I know two years is a long time to forget about bringing home a live animal to an older sister, so I will just have to remind him often. If you are all interested, I can put in a good word for you. I am so proud of my brother and know that he is going to where the Lord needs him and will do a great job.
Super Mic doing his thing with his side kick Tanner the Tiger.
He's been been preparing to fight spiritual crime since he was a toddler.
Opening with anticipation...
The wait is over! We were very grateful for Skype to allow us to share this moment with each other.
Micah and I have a pretty close relationship so these last few months when the realization that he was going to be leaving on a mission soon hit me really hard. It is hard to imagine not having my brother close or a phone call away or to come home from Idaho and see. I have always been a bit protective of Micah and he has been a great friend to me so thinking of him going somewhere where I couldn't help him made me so sad. But as soon as he opened his call, I got this overwhelming peaceful feeling that that is the place where he is supposed to be and that Heavenly Father is going to be with him and help him out in more ways than I can. And that's okay. God always knows what he is doing so I guess it's nice to have that knowledge that my brother is in His hands. Insert tearing up here.
That is a face of love, not a face of pain from squashing.
Do not be mistaken, I have been very excited for my little Spud to get his call and to have this wonderful experience but I think part of my sadness was that I was linking Micah opening his call with the realization that my childhood is over. Ever since I was little I have hated change and the fact that I had to grow up. On my sixth birthday I can distinctly remember having a tantrum crying over the fact that I had to turn six. Why couldn't I just stay five for forever? This resistance to not being five anymore has stuck with me for about 17 years. Embarrassingly to say that I resist change and growing up so much that it has sometimes gotten in the way of my growth.

Over the last few years I have come to the realization that I am in fact a grown up now. (Shocker huh?) Well I have been trying my best to fight the "I just wanna be five forever" mentality and push through the scary feelings in my life and not get frozen when I encounter a scary thing. Once I finally pushed through and gave God my faith, different things have opened up to me. I feel more a peace, excited and confident about my life.

I now know that it's okay to be where I am. I mean could a five-year-old do all the things that I have been able to? (I guess they could, but they would need adult supervision.) I have found that it is okay to let go of being afraid to grow up and go forward with faith. Heavenly Father has never left me and will never leave me alone. If I lean on Him and trust that His timeline is much better than mine, I will be able to grow in ways that I never thought possible. Just like He is going to be there for Micah in Australia, He will be with me.

Dear five-year-old Me, It's okay to grow up. You don't have to be scared, just remember to be
 brave and you can do anything! You are a cool little girl and will be pretty cool when you're older as well.
PS: You're adorable.
I don't have to think of change being a negative thing, but just an opportunity to grow. I mean, Cancer was a huge change and scary thing, but look at all the good that has come from that!

Micah will be able to get awesome packages from his sister and my dream of owning a Koala Bear will finally come true! I am so proud of my little brother and know that he is going to do so many great things down in the land of the Aussies.

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