I'm allergic to Cancer

This last week I have had allergies up the wazoo. I don't know what was in the air, but I have not gotten a reaction that bad in years. I had a fever, a clogged head and nose, and a cough. I felt like I was in a cloud all the time. I even lost my voice from coughing and the congestion. My coworkers thought I had laryngitis and that I was dying in my cubicle I'm sure. Skyler couldn't even recognize that it was me on the phone it was so bad! Thankfully my temperature never got to 101 or else I would have had to go to the hospital. But it is okay, the rain that we have been having is washing whatever was in the air away from my nose.

Yesterday I completed my seventh treatment. I have five more! It was a really hard treatment to go to. I really do not like going and getting the actual poke and medicine. The smell in my mouth has gotten bad and brings me close to vomiting. So I make sure to have a mint present. I had been having an off week-not only with my allergies, but with my spirits. I was really not looking forward to treatment, was super lonely and really scared to get treatment.

I have made a goal that throughout this time I will go to the temple every time before I get treated. The decision to go has really given me strength. (It was a struggle to go at first because I was down a bit and just in a "wa wa waaa" mood, but my mom helped me get going. Thank you Momma!)

This is my lovely mother and I right before I left Rexburg and started my treatments. Ain't she pretty? I tell you one thing. I am certainly blessed to have this woman in my life.

This particular visit gave me a lot of help. I prayed to God to have comfort-and to as selfish as this is, not to taste the bad taste and smell. And you know what? He listened and answered my prayer. He helped me out and I didn't taste it! All because of my because of my ALLERGIES! He knew what I needed and was preparing my body for the treatment long before I asked for help. All I had to do was ask. I thought that they were a not so pleasant thing at the time where I was going through cough drops, sounding like a bald man, and making my way through a pack of tissues like nobody's business. But I was sure grateful for them at that moment when the nurse was injecting me with my "poison mocktail."

It really is amazing how much Heavenly Father loves us and knows what we need. This week, He knew that allergies would help me. He gave me a wonderful mother to help me through this and give me strength. He has given me a fiancé that cheers me up and by making me laugh and think more clearly and positively. He made it so that I found my cancer quickly and put things in order for me to get treated.

He helps guide our lives in ways to make us grow. I have grown from this so much already and found many things to be grateful for. I am grateful that I have a chance to get better. I certainly do not enjoy the process, but I am grateful for it.

There I go again, doing another talk, but oh well. It is the truth. God is with me, as he is with everyone in the world. He loves us and wants the best for us. He knows what we need and helps guides and directs us-his children. Most of all, he loves us more than we can even comprehend or imagine. And that, will never change.

I have all of these songs from primary going through my head right now that all have the same theme. That I am a child of God and he loves me. He sent me here to learn and grow. How amazing is that?! Seriously. Who doesn't want to know that someone is out there who loves them and who knows them perfectly, and who can help them grow to become their very best? I know that I do.

The one song that has always given me strength though, is not a primary song, but a lullaby my dad would sing to me when I was little and restless. (Okay, he has sung it to me when I was a teenager and also when I was in college, there I admit it. I'm such a daddy's girl. :)) It is from the musical "My Turn on Earth." It helps show me that I am not alone and that I am loved. Above all, it gives me peace.

Angel Lullaby

You came from a land where all is light

to a world half day and a world half night.

To guide you by day, you have my love,

To guard you by night, your friends above.

So sleep, sleep, till the darkness ends,

guarded by your angel friends.

So sleep, sleep, till the darkness ends,

guarded by your angel friends.

There's one stands softly by your bed

and another sits close with a hand on your head.

There's one at the window watching for the dawn,

and one waits to wake you when the night is gone.

So sleep, sleep, till the darkness ends,

guarded by your angel friends.

So sleep, sleep, till the darkness ends,

guarded by your angel friends.