Life is wonderful.

It has been awhile since I last posted, but I thought I would take the opportunity to do so now. I am just going to ramble and give all the news in my head.

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

First of all, I have an announcement. A glorious announcement:

I have officially reached my halfway mark!!!!

*Insert celebratory noise and victory dance here.

I am so so so very excited. It gives me an extra boost of confidence. I have reached the top of the mountain and now I am on my way down. I pray that I will not have to do more than 12 treatments, but if I do, I will take them and they will cure me! I am most definitely a blessed young lady. How fortunate am I that I have health care, friends and family, and most importantly, a Father in Heaven who loves me and who is looking out for me.

Recent Happenings:

This last week, my brother and his family came out from Missouri and spent about a week with my family. It was so nice to see them. He and his wife came to my treatment with me and talked to me while I received my Chemo. They are amazing. I look up to them and love them very much. Seriously, I have always wanted to be like my brother ever since I was little, and his wife is the most amazing woman I have ever met. I hope that I can be like her when I get married and "when I grow up."

Not only did I get to enjoy the company of my family, I got to see Skyler! I had not seen him for about a month and a half, and let me tell you it was quite difficult. But, Skype, texting, and phone calls helped a lot during that time. He gave me so much strength and happiness. Even though I was sick, he sat with me and entertained me. I was having such a nice time that I didn't feel as sick as I usually do. It was a wonderful treatment weekend.

Learning and Growing in the Face of Adversity:

It is very annoying/frustrating/disheartening/disappointing to have to put my life on hold because of my illness, but I am trying my best to cope with it. It has been hard because so many of my friends are getting married, having babies, and doing amazing things with their lives. I admit, I have bawled like a small child when I think of how at this time I cannot have these things when they are all that I want. But then I realize that I am just wallowing. It does not help me get better to feel sorry for myself, or to be jealous of others. (It is okay to be sad at times, but not majority of your time). I tell you one thing though, one of the huge things that I am learning from this is patience. Holy smokes am I learning patience. The other day after one of my crying sessions, I decided that I am willing and ready to be patient. It is helping me to actually decide to do so instead of just hoping that I can learn it. I am willing to learn how and am going to. I am so glad and grateful to be learning this trait. It is helping me to become a better person.

Finding Comfort:

In reality, I will eventually have these things. Right now I have an opportunity to prepare more for them. In the eternal scheme of things, it is all going to be okay. I am not yet as Job. This is just a small moment in my life. I have found great comfort from Doctrine and Covenants, Section 121:7-10. This is where Joseph Smith is in Liberty Jail and cries out to God, and God answers him:

"7) My son, peace be unto thy soul,
thine adversity and thine afflictions
shall be but a small moment;
8)And then, if thou endure it well,

God shall exalt thee on high; thou
shalt triumph over all thy foes.
9)Thy friends do stand by thee,
and they shall hail thee again with
warm hearts and friendly hands.
10)Thou are not yet as Job; thy
friends do not contend against thee,
neither charge thee with transgression,
as they did with Job."

I feel like I am teaching a lesson, or giving a talk at church by including that in this post, but I feel that it is important to share this with anybody who sees fit to read this blog. God is with me, just like he was with Job and Joseph Smith. He helped them in their time of trial, and he is helping me. Sure, I have Cancer, but there are a lot more unfortunate things that could happen to me. I am going to keep having faith in my Father in Heaven and keep remembering that Christ atoned for my pains and sins. I am such a blessed person. This is just a small moment in the eternal scheme of things.

Resolution:

I am going to hold my head high, and try my best to be patient and positive-which I admit, I am not the best at at times. I refuse to let this small ailment get the better of me. There is too many wonderful things in life to enjoy, and I intend to do just that. Enjoy my life. There is no other option than that. I would be hindering my growth and development-which is something that I do not want to happen, and will try my best not to let it happen.

I cannot wait for the day when Dr. Wallentine finally says, "You are FREEEE!! You're CURED!! NO MO' CHEMO!!" He probably won't say it like that, but I imagine him to do so and dance around the room with me. Until then, I shall patiently wait.

In conclusion to my very long post, here is the poem "Invictus." It gives me strength to read it. PS: The last two lines are my favorite.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.