Catch Up: Radiation

I'm going to play a little bit of catch up here. So forgive me if this post is long. My laptop died, therefore my mourning has inhibited my ability to get used to a normal keyboard, not sitting Indian style/laying on my back while typing, and also to update my cancer situation to all the blogging world.

(Side note: I had my brother help me take my parents computer monitor and put it on the ground so I could sit how I normally do when I am on my computer. So as I am writing this, I am on the ground comfortably typing. Oh the sacrifices I make for my beloved blog.)

So after my last chemo, I met with a Radiology Oncologist. He is a tad bit different from Dr. Wallentine. He is more shy and doesn't really kid around. When they told me that I would have to get tattooed for radiation, I was a little disappointed. So to make myself feel better, I joked to him and his assistant, "Well it is a good thing that I'm pretty freckly huh? That way they will just blend in." Cricket-Cricket... Cricket-Cricket.... "Ha, ha, get it? I have freckles." NO reaction. But oh well, it's okay. I thought I was pretty funny.

But aside from his no sense of humor towards my situation, he was still a good guy. He showed me my scans to show me where exactly I will be radiated. He then explained to me more fully about what was going to happen, and how long the radiation will be. He was very good to answer all of my questions and to let me know exactly what would be happening.

Basically I will have radiation five days a week for four weeks. This making a grand total of 20 radiation zaps. Each session will only be about 15 minutes. So it is not as near as intense as Chemotherapy. The effects will not nearly as bad as well. I may get a "sunburn" type look to my skin on the spots that they target. I may get a soar throat because they are going along my esophagus. I also may have a small upset stomach. Overall, the radiation will make me tired. I will take being tired over being disgustingly sick any day, thank you very much.

After meeting with him, I sort of feel like I did at the beginning of my cancer. Getting sent to different appointments, feeling apprehensive, frustrated, full of questions, and slightly scared. It is like I am starting the whole process over again. It just felt like finishing my chemo would be the end, but I am just preparing for a whole new treatment process. So my patience is being tested just a little more. I'm okay with it though. Just as long as they make me completely better so I won't ever have to deal with it again. And 20 times for 15 minutes is not bad at all. I can manage that. No big deal.

So what is radiation you may ask. How is it different from Chemotherapy? Well I shall tell you.

With Chemotherapy, they administer the drugs through my veins using IV's and syringes. Radiation is more like a CT scan where you lay flat and still on a bed with a machine. The machine then revolves around me. They line me up exactly the same way each time and shoot a "laser beam" at a direct spot each time. Hence the tattoos. This way they will radiate the same spot each time.

To make me stay as still as possible they make a mask that molds to my face. They attach the mask to the bed to keep my head still. To make the mold, they put this fish net plastic over my face. It was warm so they could mold it exactly to my face. It was so weird. They even cut holes for eyes in it. It looks like a hockey mask. I felt like I was in a Sci-fi movie having a warm plastic thing on my face and then laying really still on a bed while a machine whirred around me. To comfort myself and calm down, I just kept thinking it was like a really radical day spa. Day spa's are good. It is just like a radiation day spa. Oooh la la, lucky me.

Now onto the tattoos. Before I went I was imagining that it would be like a tattoo parlor with a huge gun and that it would hurt really bad. I didn't know that when I went to the clinic that they had their own personal tattoo parlor in the building as well. That isn't how it was at all. They just lined me up where they want me to be zapped, and marked me with magic marker. After this, they put ink on my skin and a little needle poked into my skin. It didn't even hurt. Just a little pinch was all. They gave me four total. One on my chest, one a little bit above my stomach, and one on each of my sides on my ribs. Pretty hard core if I do say so myself.

When they "inked me," I told them that I wanted a panther. But instead the marks are really small. Just like a black freckle.

They are about this big ---> . Basically a microscopic panther.

So now when I am older I am going to say, "Back in my twenties I was a little rebellious. I shaved my head, and got four tattoos." Ha, ha. It will be great.

I will be starting radiation in the next couple weeks. I have to go back to have another run through and make sure everything is lined up exactly then the zapping will begin a few days later. I am nervous, but ready to be done. It will be good. I am almost completely done with this whole process. I know that Heavenly Father is with me and will continue to comfort me as I go through this process. Knowing that makes this so much more bearable. I am so grateful to Him for that. I love him, and I know that He loves me. And no amount of chemo or zappage will change that. Everything is going to be okay.