Canceritis and Inspiration

If you have ever heard the term "Senioritis," then you will know that it is a serious condition in which seniors in high school get particularly antsy, sick of school, moody, and just want to give up and not do anything right around the last little bit of their high school career. I have a similar condition. But instead of it being Senioritis, I have Canceritis.

It has come down to me having three more treatments, and I'm about as antsy as piece of fallen food near an ant hill. I am just plain ready to be done with all of this. And as much as I hate to admit it, I am a bit moody. My moods are like a roller-coaster. Every other minute is like a different twist or turn. My poor parents... They put up with me so well. "Thanks Mom! Thanks Dad!"

This antsiness gives way to feelings of annoyance, frustration, and impatience. All of these words I wish didn't apply to me but they do. And that makes me even more annoyed. So as I was laying in my bed being annoyed and antsy, I remembered something that made me feel better about my situation.

My dear friend had cancer as a child and I had the opportunity to visit with his lovely mother. She heard that I had been diagnosed with cancer and wanted to share with me their experience. With her she brought a letter that he had written to me. He is on his mission, or else he would have come as well. It was such a nice experience to read the letter. In it he told me he knew he was thinking of me and knew how I was feeling. Then he went on to say the part that was so comforting to me:

"The path ahead is not an easy one but from it you will gain an experience of a lifetime. I don't know how ready I would be to deal with cancer again but I wouldn't trade the memories, both good and bad, for anything in the world. Rachel, although you may not see it now, through your experience you will be given a unique perspective of life and will grow in so many ways."

This may not have the same effect on you that it does on me, but I still think that it is something to share. Having him tell me those things was so comforting. After reading it again tonight, almost all of my anxiety has gone away. I know that is going to be okay.

His cancer was much worse than mine, and he had to go through a lot more treatment than I will have to. Despite all that, he came out on top. You would never know by looking at him that he had been sick.

Being on this side of cancer and looking at him, gives me such great hope that everything will be okay. I can be like him after this is over and have the same outlook on life. I can't wait to be on the same side of cancer as him. I hope I can be as strong as he is. He is a such an inspiration to me.

So even though I have a severe case Canceritis, I am going to keep pushing through until it is over. I only have three left. It is going to be hard, but I can do it. I can be like him. I'm going to beat this, and hopefully become as great a person as he his.

Thank you my dear friend!